Don't Make Me Close One More Door: The Day Whitney Houston Saved My Life (Part 1)
- stacymgrubb
- Feb 11
- 8 min read
November 1992
I was on the precipice of becoming a teenager in November of 1992 when the soundtrack for the Kevin Costner film The Bodyguard was released. Kevin has said many times over the years that he wanted Whitney Houston to play the female lead in that movie, and he put a hold on its production for years as he tried to get her to agree to it.
Having spent my 12 years of existence in a household where secular music wasn't allowed, I was familiar with who Whitney was, but I didn't know very much of her music. When I was very young and my oldest sister was still living at home, though, us kids would watch MTV while Mom and Dad were at work.
I was around 5 years old the first time I remember seeing Whitney. It was her "Greatest Love of All" video. I wanted to look and sound like her about as bad as a thing could be wanted. At the very least, I wish I could've been that little girl in the video.
I knew that The Bodyguard soundtrack featured a cover that Whitney had done of a song my beloved Dolly Parton had written. Since it wasn't on Dolly's gospel album, though, I wasn't familiar with it. If you were alive at all during the early to mid-90s, you probably remember the phenomenon that was the success of "I Will Always Love You." In fact, when I first tried to explain to my kids who Whitney Houston was, I needed to say no more when I played that track. "Oooooh, that's Whitney Houston." In other words, the song is so iconic that it's relevant still two generations on.
As it was, that was an era of transition in my life, not only because I was poised to lose whatever loose grip I still had on my version of "childhood," but I was also still acclimating to changing schools. It was my second year in public school after having spent Kindergarten through fifth grade in a very small private school. Our family home had burned earlier that year, showing no mercy for the contents therein, save for my sister, brother, and myself.
The middle school experience was brutally unkind to me. I was a timid, "Christian school" outlier with only a couple friends and a non-sensical number of enemies for someone who had no history or dealings with the vast majority of the school.
I think the most impactful transition, though, was that my family had stopped church cold turkey. It wasn't only that we stopped going to church. Suddenly, blessings weren't prayed over the meals, or before road trips, or to precede decisions big or small. Not surprisingly, it was around this time that the ban on secular music started to lift.
The first time I watched The Bodyguard was well after its release to theaters. I went with my dad and uncle Mark to see it at the drive in theater that used to be in Pineville. I can't remember the other movie that was playing, but it was the one dad and Mark were interested in. I tagged along for Whitney.
Early into the movie, Mark said, "Boy, she's a beautiful woman," talking to my dad who affirmed his observation and added, "She sure can sing." And sing, she sure could. There was a fight scene that amused my dad, but for the most part, he and Mark were just there to get to the next movie. For me, though, a seed that had been planted when I was that 5-year-old little girl was finally being tended.
When Christmas of '93 came around, I had jumped off the white cliffs of childhood and into the salty sea depths of being a teenager. That was also the Christmas that I was gifted two CDs. One, I had requested: Michael Bolton's The One Thing album. And don't say it, I know, but that man could flat out sang, so shut up.
The other was one Dad had picked out."I figured you'd like it since you liked that movie so much and she's singing that Dolly song on there," he said as I peeled back the wrapping paper to reveal Whitney's smooth, beautiful face.
He figured right
Half of the soundtrack was performed by Whitney, including one of my favorite versions of "Jesus Loves Me" that I'll ever love. I didn't much like the other half aside from a tune called "It's Gonna Be A Lovely Day." So, I would program my CD to play just those seven songs. For hours. One thing about me is that I can listen to even just one song for hours into days into weeks. Study a performance note-by-note? Don't threaten me with a good time, fam.
Another thing about me is that I like to play music while taking a bath or shower. These days, I use my waterproof phone and bluetooth speaker, because life is bougie.
Back then, though, I had that big, honkin' CD player of mine that I would drag in there. I had an experience one evening more than 30 years ago that has never left me.
Inconsiderate, yes...
but I would spend upwards of an hour blasting my selected seven songs through the rafters. That's what I was doing the day that Whitney saved my life. I was ready to end my bath, but I wanted to shower off the bubbles before calling it a done deal.
I remember standing to my feet as "I Have Nothing" began to play. I would sing along as well as one (especially one like me) could, but in that moment, I was struggling to catch my breath. I stopped singing long enough to pull a deep inhale of air into my lungs. My heart felt like it was a little aflutter, but I decided to ignore that.
Whitney sang on as I tried to get myself in a position to rejoin her. "Don't make me close one more door/I don't wanna hurt anymore..."
I thought I was seeing a light directly in front of me when I realized, that, no, all of my peripheral vision had gone black and fuzzy.
Still, she sang. "You see through right to the heart of me..."
Unable to take a full breath, see, or clearly hear, I started reaching for the towel bar inside the shower. "Your love I'll remember forever..."
I guess it's funny. Because I can remember the lyrics I last heard before passing out, I can gauge that I was underwater for around 40 seconds, mostly unconscious. I also remember that there was a voice, a woman's, that started speaking to me after a time.
"You can't breathe underwater."
That was her message. No urgency. No directive. No, "Wake up before you drown!" Calm. Even. A statement of fact. I didn't recognize the voice. I know it was repeated at least three times because it took me several seconds to process the words. At first, they were only a noise I was hearing. Then, I detected a cadence to them. Finally, I identified their meaning.
"Why is she telling me this?" I wondered. I wasn't even yet conscious enough to wonder who "she" was, where I was, or what was going on. Slowly, I began to focus on a muffled notion of music playing.
There's this point in "I Have Nothing" that is classic 1990s David Foster (producer) where it reaches a crescendo that slowly builds and makes the listener want to jump out of their seat when that climax happens. In this case, it's a key modulation into a belted high note.
Bunny trail: Whitney was iconic for those, but the legend of this song is that the track had been cut prior to Whitney going to lay down her vocal and, lo and behold, the key was too high for her. She also had a cold. But David Foster basically told her she would have to make it work, because there was no time to redo the track. She typically performed it live in a lower key.
As my mind was oso slowly beginning to pick up on sounds and comprehend them, Whitney's voice was building up to that key change. "Dont....make....me...." here it comes. "CLOSE one more door!" There on that word close, I came up out of the water like a sinner made clean by the blood of the lamb and pulled from the river by John the Baptist himself.
A wave of soapy water crashed over the side of the tub and spilled like a flood onto the floor. I immediately began recalling those moments when I was standing in the shower, fighting to breathe and see. I realized my face was throbbing and clambered out of the bathtub, flooding the floor with yet more water.
Assessing myself in the mirror, I saw no bumps or injuries until I opened my mouth and saw a pink mix of blood and water on my teeth. I accepted then that I must have passed out and hit my face on the way down.
Still, the reality of it came to me in layers. In a shook stupor, I grabbed a towel and started to dry the floor. The music, loud as ever, played on. "I'm every woman, it's all in me..."
I walked to the bathtub and pulled the chain to drain what water hadn't ended up on the floor. I sat on the edge of it as my adrenaline began to wane, making the pain in my face intensify.
"Any time you feel danger or fear, then instantly, I will appear...OH, I'm every woman..."
I lurched forward to turn off the music, and the sudden silence was deafening. My soaking wet hair formed snaking rivers that ran down my back and arms and I felt a shivering chill take me over.
"Whitney just saved my life."
I stepped out of the bathroom in only a towel and my sister happened to be walking through the hallway. "I think I just passed out," I told her, my voice shaking and a knot sitting stubbornly in my throat. "I thought I heard something," she said.
That was the first of many, many, many times over the now 30+ plus years that I've told folks Whitney Houston saved me from drowning in my bathtub.
Today is the 13th anniversary of the day Whitney died. It took almost all of those 13 years for me to realize the irony. The one whom I have credited for saving me from drowning at only 13 years old went on to see Jesus after drowning in a bathtub almost 20 years later.
I've read that the last song Whitney sang in public was "Jesus Loves Me" that I love so much. I listen to it still several times a week. In one of her final interviews, Oprah asked her, "Who do you love?" This question followed a lengthy and candid discussion about her controversial marriage, her struggles with addiction, and her divorce. But a warm, joyful smile came to Whitney's face as she answered, "The Lord. I do." She surely does.
Why is there a Part 2 to this? Because I received a message that day in 1994: You can't breathe underwater. And in 2025, Whitney saved my life again. Here's the spoiler: And God said unto Moses, I Am That I Am: and he said, Thus shalt thou say unto the children of Israel, I Am hath sent me unto you. Exodus 3:14, KJV
It saddens me deeply that we were cut short of the life and music that Whitney brought to this earth. While addiction has unfairly horned its way into her legacy, the real ones will know. If you don't know, get real. I cannot wait to sing with her one day. Jesus Loves Me.
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